Lately, I’ve been having a lot of sleepless nights. The random insomnia strikes again. On nights like this I just sit in front of the computer, with mouse clicking randomly in search of something interesting to read. Sometimes I strike gold – like finding this young man’s blog who fell in love with his girlfriend’s best friend; or that of an older man who was shagging another woman whilst his wife was in the hospital having a baby; or that mistress of an old married man who is on the brink of suicide. It’s almost like watching a soap opera. It keeps me up all night reading until my eyes get tired and eventually fall asleep.
There’s really not much to read lately. It seems that everybody’s taking a hiatus. I also miss reading the posts from those folks on my blogroll. Where the heck are you, guys?It’s been awfully quiet around here…
To drown my worries this afternoon, I decided to take a two-hour jog and explore my new neighborhood. As I passed by rows and rows of multi-million dollar homes I imagined myself living in such luxury – a Ferrari and a Bentley on the driveway, maids in uniform, and a chauffeur waiting for command.
For a few seconds I enjoyed the daydream, but was quickly jolted back to reality when I saw that dark pair of eyes staring in nothingness. Despite her age (she must be in her 60’s), her beauty was noticeable even from a distance as she stood in that long, paved driveway as if waiting for someone. Her platinum hair was tightly pulled in a bun and the red lipstick made her pale skin seem whiter, almost ghost-like.
I smiled at her and waved my hand to acknowledge her presence, and she responded with a slow nod as my eyes met the saddest pair of eyes I have ever seen. “Lady, what will it take to make you happy?” I muttered in an inaudible voice. ”Aren’t all these riches enough?” Of course I realized that there are some things money can’t buy – some things as fundamental as health, happiness, and being with the people you love.
Have you ever had an embarrassing moment that makes you want to disappear from the face of the earth? Unfortunately for me I had a lot of those moments, but the most recent one had me literally sick to my stomach. Someone found my blog! – Someone that I know; someone who has been the subject matter of most of my writings.
It was my fault. I have been snooping around his blog and forgot that I was logged on to mine, and I left traces of my visit and he tracked me from there. Gosh! What to do, what to do? Can you just shoot me now?
I almost deleted this, but I have invested so much time and poured a lot of emotions, I cannot bear to lose this blog. Oh, well! What the heck? So now he knows everything – how I grieved when I lost him, how I felt back then and now. The bad thing is he will never mention it, and I will never get to defend myself or have the chance to
lie deny. Damn blog! Why did I even start this?
P.S. I have no choice but to password-protect some of my posts hoping that he hasn’t seen them all…[fingers-crossed]